This has been my motto for two weeks now, and I’m going to keep it for a while. It’s been a rough three months for us, from unemployment, to a tumor instead of a baby (Arnold, you were wrong, it was a tumor), to depression and grieving, to financial hardship.
Through it all I keep reminding myself that God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good. It’s a phrase I picked up from God’s Not Dead, a movie I have seen entirely too many times, but Kevin Sorbo, I mean, come on.
As my days go on, as the time between the loss of our baby continues to pass, I do remind myself that God is good, that there is no reason God would willingly wish this on us. It’s not because of anything we have done or not done. It’s simply a matter of circumstance, and what we did do, the choices we have made since them have given us the ability to have stronger faith, stronger relationships, and stronger hope for what the future can hold.
We will cherish the one child we do have, and we’ll love all that more deeply our son and any future children we bring into our home. It’ll give us that much more pause when we’re angry or saddened. God didn’t give us this pain, but God will lessen the suffering.
This isn’t God’s fault. It isn’t our fault. God is good, and I truly have to believe that in order to move forward in my life, in our lives. If God wasn’t good, then I would have my beautiful son, I would have this amazing spouse who stands beside me during everything and loves me unconditionally, I would have the strength to get through each and every day.
God is good. All the time.